It's written all over the place

I want an amazing summer. I want to remember all of it. I want to shake off the pain of this past year, forget it all for two months. I want to have fun. I want to be with people, always.

Let's make like 8,000 plans, starting now !

I think I'm going to hang out with Austin and Arrie Friday, possibly Hooly too.

MAKE MOAR PLANS PLZ.

These past 2 days, I haven't even gotten dressed xD it's pathetic, I've simply lazed around, doing like nothing.

Across the Universe just came on. I don't like this movie :( That blonde chick has too deep of a voice. And the asian is funny looking.

Okay, text me, seriously ! Comment if you need my number :D

<3 Oh. And I love my mother to death, but sometimes I wish she wouldn't come talk to me about EVERYTHING. Like the fact that my dad argues with her over financial issues, or that my brother isn't being promoted to seventh grade. Why does she feel the need to call and check up on me throughout the day, only to then add before she hangs up, these little details of my family that I don't want to hear? Sometimes, I wish she left me out of that loop. It makes me hope she doesn't go telling my dad and brother everything that goes on with me.

This song gives me the biggest chills, it's amazing. If you've never heard it, go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbP0c9TZfzM

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame


Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me


Ouch I have lost myself again

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,

Yeah I think that I might break

Lost myself again and I feel unsafe


Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

and needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

I hope to God

Number 1 isn't me. If it is, we should talk, we really should. Even if it isn't, I'm going to say this:

I miss you. I miss you more than I ever thought possible. I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you, I didn't realize you were going through that much trouble? But you have to understand... I went through living HELL this summer, do you realize that? I lost so much, you can't possibly comprehend it. I needed you. Badly. As my best friend, my BEST friend, you were there for me and I can't thank you more. You helped me to realize I could stay strong through it and you were the FIRST PERSON i voiced the idea too. That's why it hurts so fucking bad that now I feel so thrown aside. I feel horrid that you say 'when i needed you, where were you?' You know how bad that makes me feel? I would drop anything in the world to help you! I didn't know you were having such a hard time! If you told me, I'm sorry, I'm SORRY if I didn't listen. I lost myself this summer, I lost half of my heart with it and I'm fucking sorry if I didn't understand. I didn't expect in a million years I would lose our friendship over that.

Summer seems so far past now, but I'm even crying now as I type this. I love you, I always will. I don't know what more you want me to say. You annoyed me to no end sometime and I know I did the same to you, but I hate how badly this is hurting me. I don't know who to go to anymore! I just don't understand how you ask where I was when I know you know where I was and what I was going through. That doesn't mean I wouldn't help you though! I would have tried my best! I'm SORRY.

I don't know what else to say.