And if I could be someone like you

Today was Colin's birthday and I'd say it went pretty well. I was feeling incredibly crappy this morning but I got better once he got here. My mom also made him this really delicious cake :D and steak for dinner was nommyyyy.

I was planning on posting my obsession story that I had to do for English, but I'm not done with it yet and I want to perfect it before I let everyone see it :)

I'm kind of ticked off. Yesterday, I guess I pulled the usb out of my iPod while it was syncing and didn't realize it. I noticed it was frozen, so I reset it, and EVERYTHING is now gone :( I really, really hate when that happens. I'm trying to save up for an iPod Touch, but it's going to take me until like July or August. Ah, man.

I also need to get my hair dyed again xD it's faded so badly. Mama thinks I should pay for it this time though, and seeing as I get twenty-five dollars every Friday, it might take me some time, since I have a hard time saving xD plus that will cut into iPod money.

Sheesh.

Ever have it where like something happens and you convince yourself of an outcome or a reason for that happening? And like, you really tell yourself it's the one thing, but then you want to share that opinion with someone else. Only, you subconsciously know that they're going to make you feel stupid or second guess what you're thinking, so you don't want to share with them. You think you'll just get disappointed or annoyed once they share what they think. I get that with my mom a lot. I finally shared the HAPPENING with her today, though, to see what her thoughts were, and found out I was exactly right. She was so sure of her response too, that I wish I never would have asked her.

Although, I sometimes thinks my mom tells me one thing because she doesn't want to share her honest opinion. Then later down the road she says, "I thought that too, but I didn't want to scare you." or something along those lines. I really hate that.

I also hate not knowing things. I wish life wasn't so full of maybes sometimes. I wish we could just get a straight answer on certain things. Though, I guess that would defeat some of our purpose of waiting and learning.

Oh well.

Thought of the Day:
I think I want things a little too much.

I miss the rush of your skin

I think I just had a realization and it hit me hard, real hard. I've been feeling things (I don't know for how long) that have confused me and made me question my sanity. Now, I think I finally understand and I hate it. I hate this theory of mine, although I'm pretty sure it's correct.

I feel sick with myself tonight. Tomorrow, I need to work harder to do what I want and in the meantime, I have no idea. I have the ability to piss a lot of people off right now. Either piss them off or let them down. I don't know. I still haven't done any homework yet.

BLAH ANOTHER SHORT BLOG.

I want to watch Fight Club.

And I miss you :(