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Dear Stupid May,
You are the cruelest month for going by so slow, when I want you to go by so fast. Speed up, please, or let me fall asleep until you are over.
Thank you.
Why am I so continuously stupid? You'd think I'd learn, really, you would.
Other than the fact that I can't stand feeling like I'm doing good with my life, and then being shot down. I never land on my feet, I stumble and struggle and it takes me a long time to get back up again.
I hate this.
I love you.
I miss you.
I don't want to talk to you.
I feel hurt by you.
I want to know you.
I want to forget you.
I want to hold you.
I want to shake you out of who you've become.
I want to run away with you.
I want to scream at you.
I can't stand you.
I want to care for you.
I wish I could ignore you.
I know I shouldn't feel any of this.
The weekend has been going wonderfully so far. After school yesterday, I went home with Austin and we complained about little kids xD cause his seven year old sister had a birthday party with like 5 other little girls over. Man. I forgot how loud 7 year old girls can scream :O
But it was a fun night :D I played Gears of War 2 with his brother, Trace, and we walked down to the dock and ran from blind mosquitoes, and computered, and FML'd, and broke a mirror, and painted, and took a walk, and ate pizza.
The best part though, was when we tried to go to sleep xD Colin, Austin, and me, all squished into Austin's bed. Colin kept farting. Austin and I were so loud, we annoyed Colin to the point where he went out and slept on the couch in the back room. That was at like 2:30, and Austin and I stayed up talking and laughing and being retarted for about 2 more hours. YEEEEH :D And today Colin said he was on the couch and was like WTF cause he could still hear us through the walls xD and we were apparently being louuud :P
It was a blasty blast.
Now, I'm at Colin's and he's naked :O jk he has a towel on. And we're going to go out on the boat and pick up Austin on it :D then ride around for awhile, then go to my house so I can shower and get cleeaaan and then dunno, until ELLEN BOO'S PARTY TONIGHT :D
<3
Let's text, babes.
352.551.3606
<3
ArrieWag, you make my mornings 8,000x better than they are supposed to be and I love you <3
NittyWood, you're my best friend and I love you lots and I gon go to your house tomorrow and we gon go see Arrie? <3
I'm really glad that it's almost the weekend. It seems like since this is the last month of school, it's going by super slow. Am I the only one who feels that way? Sigh. I want to write a lot, and I keep getting story ideas, but I never have the time to write them down. Bigger sigh.
I want to text moar people ! If you text... and you've never texted me... that's a problem, let's make it happen :D !
Gimme yo numba, baby ;D
<33 I'm in a good mood, but I can't stop talking in a British accent.
AND KUBIK AFTER SCHOOL, LAWL. Austin and I were staring at him through the window on his door and he hid under his desk and kept randomly popping up. So we started hiding under the window and popping up. So he got some random giant stick and taped a picture of a squirrel to it and kept making IT pop up. It was so funny :D
I hope you guys had good days. But srsly, the texting thing :D
I LOVE YOU :D
You're breaking my heart.I want to sleep.
I don't want to wake up.
I want to lie under the stars for an entire night, even seek them out in the daylight.
I'm cold internally.
The sky looks so easy to reach into.
I want someone to walk with me, so far away from here. I want all my teachers to stop yelling at me. I want people to stop telling me what to do. I wish I could tell people that I'm not okay, that I need to be left alone, and that their arguing and lecturing isn't going to help.
I want people to stop telling me it will be okay.
I want people to stop pretending they understand.
I want people to stop expecting so much from me.
I want to stop caring what everyone else wants.
I want out of here.
