We walk along the crowded streets

You know those moments where things feel great and everyday feels exciting or fresh ? Then out of nowhere you feel like everything and everyone is a stranger and you don't understand what happened to you , why you feel the way you do. I can barely form the words in my own mind , my feelings are unreadable. I guess the easiest way to sum it up is to say that I simply don't understand. I'm tired of the constant ups and downs. I feel this constant weight of stress on me throughout the entire day.

Oh and my anxiety is ruining my life , completely. It started out with small things , not wanting to go into crowded places or be home alone. Now I'm terrified of my own home (with my entire family in it) , getting into cars , falling asleep , stupid things like that. I feel sick constantly. My heart beats so fast and I get so shaky that sometimes I swear I'll throw up on the spot. I'm trying so hard to get it under control but it's hard. One of my favorite things in the world used to be going on long car rides with friends and just talking and listening to music. I can barely leave my front porch now and the thought of getting in a car and going somewhere makes me feel ill. Even hearing people TALK about going somewhere makes my heart race.

Now more than ever , I really want to just run away. Though that contradicts horribly with my anxiety. I would never be able to leave. I'm not excited for anything anymore. School , people , my future. I feel so tired and weak , like I can barely take a step toward anything good anyway. I'm wasting every single day with mindless nothings. I don't even write anymore , my mind keeps locking up and straying into blank visions.

I want to take a stand and change myself , make things the way that I want them to be. I just don't know if I have the motivation yet.

You never catch on

I need to change things. I keep telling myself that I will. I expect myself to wake up one day and just make it all better. I'm not getting anywhere , I'm stuck walking in complete circles. I'm slowly falling back into habits I had long forgotten. I already feel disgustingly overwhelmed at the thought of school starting in two weeks or so. I still need to read The Scarlet Letter and do whatever that stupid chart is. I still have to fix things and make it better for myself. Each day , my mind goes deeper into life contemplation and I'm never satisfied with the way that my thoughts turn. It's easy to act like everything's fine , but there's moments where I just want to scream and now is one.

I'm so sick of this , I want to throw up.

For every 99 times you look me in the eye

I started out perfectly fine last night. I was happy , I had music blasting , I was doing surveys on Myspace , watching great shows on TV. Heck , I was even playing WoW. I couldn't have been any better. Things led to me trying to make someone feel better and feeling bad for them and before I knew it I was in the midst of one of the biggest breakdowns of my life thus far. Talk about pulling out hair , rocking back and forth , sweating , shaking madness. For two hours I paced my room , curled up in a ball , rolled around my bed , cried my eyes out , screamed into pillows , and ripped apart magazines and papers that may or may not have been important.

I try so hard to push things into the back of my mind , to keep up with this 'happy' because it's just so easy to make people believe that you're okay. "How are you ?" they ask , and it doesn't matter if you don't answer with a "Great !" or "Good". You can make do with an "I'm all right." and they won't press. It's just so much cleaner to leave it at that , no emotional mess to clean up or worry that you'll scare them away or accidentally let them get too close.

I try , believe me , I even convince myself at times that I'm perfectly fine , I am as happy and carefree as I seem. Sometimes I manage to forget that it's mainly an act. Then nights like last night happen and I realize that I'm so far from okay. I can't say "I'm all right." I don't reach that standard , not yet. Sure meltdowns can happen sometimes and it doesn't mean anything's wrong , but the thoughts that ran through my head and the things I had to do to keep myself calm are ridiculous and not in any means above the line of "okay".

There I was , stuck in this ramble of spitting out quiet complaints just as quickly as they popped into my mind. I wanted to scream as loud as I could , break things , but no , I had to be so quiet because it was four in the morning and fits are unacceptable at such a time. All of the fragile things in my room seemed to be begging me to lift them and throw them , shatter them. I had to go sit out in the living room so I wouldn't destroy anything , save the papers and magazines that I managed to get my hands on.

This morning I woke up and realized that things MUST change , they absolutely have to. It's not fair that I have forgotten about myself completely. I barely even take care of myself anymore. I feel I have to tiptoe around everyone as to not upset them. It can't be that anymore , it HAS to be about myself , it isn't fair that I'm constantly pushed aside or not taken seriously or just ignored. I can't deal with it anymore. And people seem to think that because I'm "happy" I don't have anything bothering me. Why does everyone assume that I'm just FINE , I'm grand , I'm doing amazing ?

You know , I'm just a really good liar apparently. So I guess I shouldn't blame anyone. I don't care how long ago something happened , how miniscule it was , who it involved , it doesn't matter , if I feel like I still need to focus on it and grieve over it , then I will. It isn't anyone else's job to say how I react to things and how long I take to accept them. The next time you wonder why I'm acting like a bitch or I'm not talking or something , take a minute to remember just exactly what I've been through.

I'm going to stop here because I'm getting mad and I'll just regret writing further. Goodnight.

From the depths of all belonging

I really need to start standing up to you. My goodness.

I feel like I'm wasting my entire summer by doing nothing. I want to be with people and do things and have FUN. I can't believe it's already July :(

I had a chain of really bad dreams this morning and it brought back memories and pain, made my day emotional , though I believe I hid it very well from people.

Random fact , thanks to Allie , I am way addicted to Caramel Steamers from Starbucks and if you ever happened to randomly buy me one because you love me so much , I would be so , so forever grateful <3

My thoughts are too scrambled today :O I love you.

Jeronimo !

I can't believe I actually started playing WoW :P nuts. So lately I've been outtawhackawhack ! Like , with sleep. I'm up until the sun comes up or a little later , I fall asleep , I either wake up at like 8 or 9 , or 4pm XP I don't mind it too much , but mama doesn't appreciate it , lawl.

My brother is like 10 times worse though ! He'll stay up until 7 , sleep until 5 , stay up until 6 , sleep until 4 , and believe me , he is IMPOSSIBLE to wake up.

:) so Nittywood was supposed to come over today but he didn't :( I reallllly want to hang out with people. I wish I had a car. Or a license. Or a permit xD

I'll work on that.

Charlie Sheen makes me lol.

You know what I love ? 7:20am voicemails <3 srsly , the mega shiz.

Ah man , I'm tired XP

Nothing else is really going on right now , just day after day of getting up late , being lazy , playing videogames , and that's about it :) but yes , let's make plans for something.

HOOLY ARE YOU UNGROUDED , YET ?! YOU BETTER BE.

<3

I've got to find my life

I feel like I should be so incredibly sorry. For everything , for nothing , I'm not even sure. And I find I'm repeating myself with that , so many I-don't-knows. I suppose I'm just in transition , I feel like I'm changing , I feel like everything is shifting. It just feels weird. I want to grab onto so many things and fix things and just make it all work.

I feel like I need to stretch , I'm so tense , I'm so frustrated , I almost feel like I just need that breakdown to start fresh again. Like I need to just explode , cry , scream , everything , and then relax and figure things out.

I feel like I'm doing a really bad job at being myself. Everything is strange and I hate it.

It's like halfway through June and I've done barely anything. I want(ed) an amazing summer , can we please make it happen ?

And I'm infinitely sorry. For everything.

I tried so hard and got so far

but in the end , it doesn't even matter. I had to fall , to lose it all , but in the end , it doesn't even matter.

( You should listen to this while reading because I listened to it while typing )

Why do I seem to have such a hard time accepting that things are just the way they are ? There can be absolutely no going back , no sense in wishing things had played out differently. People say that there is always time to fix things , it's never too late , but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. You work and work and work and try as hard as you can to push things back into place and though the pieces may cooperate for a moment , you soon find it won't fit together the way it used to. It's not the same , everything has shifted and you will never again have this perfect little picture that you knew.

It's not fair that certain events just ripple through everything and create such unsettling results. Relationships that once meant the world to you and seemed so strong , crumble , just like that , with no warning. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cares , like I'm the only one who isn't making excuses , like I'm the only one who really remembers.

I feel sick , watching everything around me. I will never understand how people seem to just forget things , or how they are able to at least put up that act. I remember everything , but people seem so confused when I bring things up from the past. It's like , how could you forget ? How can I say something in reference of it to you , and you just reply with "What?" How on Earth do you FORGET or even ACT like it ?

I hate feeling like everybody just moves and I'm standing here with my arms up , like what the heck is going on ? I HATE feeling like I'm fighting so hard for nothing. Why should I try then ? Because I believed the promises ? Because I don't want to forget ? Because I'm stupid ?

I don't even know anymore and I'm tired of that stupid feeling. I wish I could just understand what people wanted.

Tell me , what do you want from me ? Really.

This is about so many things. I feel so tense with emotions , I'm so about to just explode and I can't tell if it will be in anger or sadness. I think people expect too much from me.

I hate how you act so oblivious or like I'm stupid. How you tell me to quit being dumb because that's not how you taught me. You really don't realize how much that bothers me , do you ? You want to know what you've taught me ? Really ?

Can't anybody see how HARD I'm trying ?! It would be so easy to just lie in bed all day and do absolutely nothing. NOTHING. It would be easy to forget about everybody and everything and just sleep forever. But I don't because I want things to WORK , I want people to go back to how they were , I want everything to just be GOOD.

You tell me I need to forget , I need to get over it , I need to not think about it , I need to accept it , I need to use it for my advantage. I NEED YOU TO SHUT UP. Nobody knows , nobody understands , and I don't want anyone to. But the jokes , the talk , when I'm sitting RIGHT THERE. You could at least be careful with what you say.

Half of the people tell me I'm so strong for what I've been through , that they wouldn't have been able to do it if they had been in my shoes. Then when I have any sort of breakdown , I just get from people that it's in the past and I need to not think about it. Not think about it. Sure. I'll get right on that.

My past up to this point HAS made me incredibly strong and will continue to. When I'm ready. Not when you think I'm ready , not when you're sick of hearing it. When I'm ready.

I'd like to add that I'm sorry when I act immature , stubborn , or bitchy. I don't mean to bother you.

fuckimissher.

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

I'm tired of people and the way they act. I'm tired of feeling disgusted by human beings everywhere I look. I want conversations with people who care, who view the world through the same pair of eyes that I do. I want to hear from someone who wants to change things, who won't settle for the flow of what people have set up to be their lives. There's only a handful of people who aren't getting on my nerves right now.

I'm tired of feeling so helpless. I feel like I'm a little girl again, waiting for mommy to hold my hand so I can cross the street. I feel ashamed that I have to take a sleeping pill before I go out, to keep my anxiety down, and that I now take Valium. I hate that I have to beg people not to take me certain places or not to leave me because I am terrified. I'm tired of trying to explain to people that I don't know why I'm scared, I just am. I'm sick of walking by people and holding my breath. I'm tired of crying because there is no one around and I'm paralyzed with fear. I'm tired of having friends laugh at me because they don't understand why I'm too scared to go places with them or be without an adult.

I'm REALLY tired.

http://kaelove.tumblr.com/ <---- please go here for my tumblr <3 ?

And at last take a breath

I'm so excited for the SIMS 3 tomorrow. Mama says she's gon try real hard to get it for me asap :D YAYAYAYAYAYAY.

Today was chill. I didn't get out of my PJs, I played SIMS 2, watched movies, ate s0uP. All that fun stuff. I'm still sick, but I'm getting better.

By the way, if you don't already follow/watch my Tumblr, you should !

kaelove.tumblr.com

;D

I hate the Clearasil commercials. "Warning, Clearasil may cause confidence." and then the person like walks up to the opposite sex and does something daring. Yeah, right. OH LOOK MY PIMPLE DISAPPEARED, NOW I CAN GO USE THAT GUY'S SUNGLASSES AS A MIRROR AS I APPLY MY LUSCIOUS RED LIPSTICK.

Go to Youtube, search 'Gummy Bear song' and click the Long English Version, if you've never seen these before. Srsly, I was like :Ding and dancing to it for ten minutes. It makes me so happy.

Love you <3

P.S. You know you're a BlogSpot kid whenever you're jamming to music and you listen for lyrics that would make good blog titles ;D

(am I the only one who does that?)

YOUCANTCOMPREHENDMYEXCITMENT!

You.

I know you'll see this and you'll probably roll your eyes or laugh at it. But I need you to actually listen to me. I refuse to believe that you really mean everything you say to me lately. You're not yourself, you're different, I don't care what you say. Maybe you haven't changed with everything, but you have certainly changed with me and I want to know WHY. I want to know why you randomly shut me out, gave me a bs reason for it, said you'd fix things, and still have yet to make me feel any better about any of it. Everytime we talk, all you do is laugh with those stupid 'lols' every five seconds, it's like our conversations simply amuse you. You have to know somewhere in that mind of yours that what you're doing isn't fair at all. You act so different towards me, I can't stand it. And no matter how much I tell myself that there's nothing I can do about it, I can't help but feel frustrated.

It's not fair that you leave me with no real answer and saying that I just needed to be independent is bull and you and I both know it. I want a real conversation with you. Do you have any idea how sad it makes me that when I feel like breaking down, my first thought to go to is you, and then I stop myself because you're so different, I don't even want to tell you my problems anymore? Your advice is different. Your thoughts are different. I don't understand who you're trying to act like this for or why you are doing it.

So, as much as you lol at me and ignore me, I believe that in some small, unaffected part of your brain, you realize that what you're doing to me is wrong and that you need to FIX it. I'm not sitting here complaining that you aren't here for me for every little reason. It just really SUCKS to me that I feel I can't even be myself around you anymore. I don't care what you're going through or what I am going through, you PROMISED me that we would always have each others backs and right now, you don't. When you avoided me, I continued to give you support that you didn't really need apparently. Even when I'm at my lowest and you haven't talked to me in weeks, I text you and give you encouragement or try to help you in someway.

You're not giving me anything back and I'm really, really sick of it. I'm tired of saying that I'm simply sad over it because it's at the point now where I feel you're being really selfish. You can obviously make room for some people in your life, damn it, make room for me. Me, of all the people that you choose to shut out. Knock some sense into yourself.

There's a moment in time and it's stuck in my mind

You know, one of the things that I hate most about myself is the fact that I am purely terrified of being independent. It's so hard for me to even try to do. I notice that when doing things, I always look at other people to see how they're doing it. I hate going places by myself. I hate solo activities. If I can choose to do something in a group, I will. I'm so scared of doing things by myself for some reason and that worries me for my future. I always seem to rely on the opinions of others, no matter what I'm thinking or how I feel about it. I never thought of myself as weak, really, just that I'm ridiculously dependent on people and I despise it.

I admire the people who are able to make decisions on their own and speak their thoughts so freely. I used to think I could do that but it's becoming more and more apparent to me that I'm really not independent at all. If I can ask for help, I will. If someone's willing to help me with work or something, I'll ask them to. If someone asks me to do them a personal favor, it scares me, I have to ask the opinion of someone else. There's so much that I want to do but I don't think I could possibly do it alone, even if I wanted to.

If I have to go somewhere, I feel anxiety at the thought of having to go alone. If I have to do a project by myself, I'll constantly ask people how they're doing it, watch them, and then twist my project to make mine fit theirs a little more because I feel I can't do it right and they can.

I can't seem to freely do anything on my own and that makes me frustrated and embarrassed.

:(

Also, my anxiety has been in serious high-gear lately. It's making me feel sick. Everywhere I go now, I notice I'm ALWAYS scanning the area. Everyone looks suspicious to me. Everyplace seems terrifying. I avoid going places with people because I'm SCARED. I wish it would stop.

I kind of feel like a big mess right now.

I want to go there... but I could never go alone.

To the delirious eye, more lovely things

Though I turn, I fly not -
I cannot depart;
I would try, but try not
To release my heart.
And my hopes are dying
While, on dreams relying,
I am spelled by art.

Thus, the bright snake coiling
'Neath the forest tree
Wins the bird, beguiling,
To come down and see:
Like that bird the lover
Round his fate will hover
Till the blow is over
And he sinks - like me.

I love poetry, I love stories, I love it all. I've missed writing so much. gM#$T#T)#MGM) I'm just like filled with joy over sitting here and reading my huge Edgar Allan Poe collection book. 1023 pages of pure Poe genius. I'm in love.

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow, I had such an amazing weekend. I can't wait for summer and all the super fun times. I took about 38 videos today of car rides and Olive Garden :D I'm excited to upload them.

I love, love all of you. And expect more writing in the near future from me ;D

That just goes to show that some words are useless

I want to study psychology for the reason that I crave the understanding of human beings. Why we act the way we act, do the things we do. When one man meets the eyes of another, why would his eyes stray from his? How does one know when a friend is lying? Through the twitch of their palm, hold of their gaze, shape of their mouth? I want to be able to look at a person and KNOW. I want to read them, feel their emotions radiate against my own flesh. I want to grasp the thought process. I love hands. I love watching them as a person talks, drives, walks, writes. I mainly adore eyes. I love eye contact and that moment where you and the other person are locked subconsciously in a soul search, through which the simple-minded cannot understand. It's amazing when two people lock eyes as they speak through only their irises alone. One does not need words in such situations. It is best to let the blink of your eyes tell the story for you. Lips ache to tell only lies with the occasional truth here and there, whether people are willing to accept such a thing or not. It is much more relevant to forget the use of our tongues at all, but to only communicate through our glances, emotions, and movement. Our minds are too small and weak to even form true words of love anyway. So it's best, I believe, to let your soul speak through other means. We are amongst creatures that we cannot understand. We all speak different languages. So why not ignore that, if not just for one day? Ignore the idea that you believe you have the right words to say. You don't, we don't. Why do you think we stutter, stumble over our language so much? Words mean close to nothing these days, so I say lift up your hands, clench your teeth, and walk with your thoughts. It's much more beautiful to watch a flower bloom than to hear a car come to life. We're so far onto the concrete, so far off the dirt of which we belong. The least we could do is rest our poorly educated mouths for a day and let your beings do the talking. Even in heat, our hearts are cold with misunderstanding. Only the power given to our souls can push natural warmth through our very heart and veins. Then we will again breathe clean, fresh air that is not tainted by the hollow breath from the throat of those full of angry speeches.

I don't know. I love you <3

Well she's still around

I'm really just at the point where I just don't have any idea. I'm opening my eyes and realizing more and more about the world and people inhabiting it. Most people really want an education, a job, money, a big house, a nice car, tons of things. I'm not saying this is WRONG, so don't get ahead of me, here. I'm simply saying that I'm discovering that I'm pretty opposite of that. I no longer dream of getting into an excellent college, working a top-notch job, and getting tons of cash. I no longer yearn for lots of material things. I'm wanting people and love to surround me. I'd rather be in a tiny home surrounded by my favorite people than in a mansion with a flatscreen and convertible. I'm noticing so much more about my deepest wants. All I really want is happiness, but in the form of friendship and love and carefree fun. I don't want to feel like I have to spend my life in working hard when I don't want to. Sure, I'll get a job and I'll make money, but I don't want to make it my life. I want to focus on the people around me and having adventures with them and discovering new things.

Like, I said, please don't get the wrong idea. I'm not in any way bashing people who do want to go to a great college, get big jobs, make money, and all that stuff. That's TOTALLY FINE :) it's just not my dream and I'm noticing that now.

I had a bad night again, though :( I keep crying. This keeps happening and all I can do is pray about it continually. I really want to have a great summer. I feel like this year was a big ball of stress and I just want to stretch out, look to the sky, smile, and let go.

I miss so many people :(

I LOVE YOU, OKAY ? <3

How is that a dog toy?

The weekend has been going wonderfully so far. After school yesterday, I went home with Austin and we complained about little kids xD cause his seven year old sister had a birthday party with like 5 other little girls over. Man. I forgot how loud 7 year old girls can scream :O

But it was a fun night :D I played Gears of War 2 with his brother, Trace, and we walked down to the dock and ran from blind mosquitoes, and computered, and FML'd, and broke a mirror, and painted, and took a walk, and ate pizza.

The best part though, was when we tried to go to sleep xD Colin, Austin, and me, all squished into Austin's bed. Colin kept farting. Austin and I were so loud, we annoyed Colin to the point where he went out and slept on the couch in the back room. That was at like 2:30, and Austin and I stayed up talking and laughing and being retarted for about 2 more hours. YEEEEH :D And today Colin said he was on the couch and was like WTF cause he could still hear us through the walls xD and we were apparently being louuud :P

It was a blasty blast.

Now, I'm at Colin's and he's naked :O jk he has a towel on. And we're going to go out on the boat and pick up Austin on it :D then ride around for awhile, then go to my house so I can shower and get cleeaaan and then dunno, until ELLEN BOO'S PARTY TONIGHT :D

<3

Let's text, babes.
352.551.3606

<3

If I may add my input here...

I kind of think the whole ordeal is sad. I'm thoroughly disappointed. I thought all of us blogspot people had this little weird connection because we shared our deepest thoughts, frustrations, and hopes with each other, without so much as speaking one word to each other in school. It upsets me to see how quickly we all claw at each other's throats :/

I think it all should just be forgotten. I agree with Kristina in the way that with your blog, you shouldn't have to be afraid of what you say. It's WHERE you vent. We vent about our families, teachers, friends, and then give each other support and say we love each other. Then someone says something that we feel is directed towards US and not other people, so we get defensive and immediately start arguing and say really rude things.

I don't like it and I don't think that's very fair.

I almost feel like maybe I should be more careful with what I post now, for I surely don't want to cause so many people to get angry.

I'm not, at all, trying to start another episode over on my blog now. Please, don't get that idea. My whole purpose of this post is to try to get everyone to calm down, think rationally, forgive, and forget.

We all can say things out of frustration. I think as 'friends' we should accept that about each other. Even if you don't agree with it. I know every single one of you has at one point said something I didn't agree with. I never bashed you out. I only think of positive things to tell everyone.

Can we get over this? Please? I don't like it and frankly, it does make me sad :(

Let me hear you screaming just for me

I want answers, is that really so horrible? I'm tired of constantly questioning and begging to hear words instead of silent waves of emotion and urges that I can't control.

Whose dreams are these that flood my mind, because they surely don't belong to me. I've had a taste but my soul yearns for the entire meal, handed to me on a plate of certainty with a smile that says yes, everything will in fact be just fine. I no longer belong to myself and all I hear are strange voices constantly caressing my thoughts, forcing my lips open in a dance of this language I have never once heard from a body so young. The amount of times you have seen the sun set should not amount to your ability to embrace love and feelings, to harness belief into your own hands and bring a garden through the cement.

I'm tired and my throat hurts :/

For the times we both apologize for

Today was the first day that I was able to not take school seriously. I usually feel really guilty about it or get stressed out, but for today, it was just okay.

I love my church. It gives me a lot of hope and optimism. I love working with the little kids there and am amazed by how they can sit and chat with you seriously about the bible and how Jesus is their best friend.

However, I'm torn with the fact that it seems half of me is willing to put forth the effort into transforming myself and the other half is just so angry at the world. I have so much pent up frustration towards people, events, things. I want to be able to get over that.

I'd also like to be able to get rid of this mental block I have.

I want to be happy. I want more than anything to be able to accept MYSELF. I want to get to the point where I can ignore what other people say and just live the way I want to live.

I'm so consumed with frustration with everything and I really want to get rid of it.

And you know, I can't help but feel like we're getting nowhere. I feel like I tried to help you through something (though I don't know for certain if it was really as bad as it seemed or not) and even though I was ignored by you and pushed away by you, I continued to try my hardest to help you and get to you, even though it was physically exhausting to me, because of everything we ever promised each other. And after we talked and said we'd fix things, I'm probably having the hardest struggle in my life and I feel like you aren't there, or more so like I can't go to you. Even when I do and you give me advice, it's not the same, at all. I don't read your words the same way I used to. I feel like you're just automatically feeding me something to make me feel better without putting effort into it. I feel like all the "progress" I thought was happening was really nothing and it upsets me. I don't get how it seems to not affect you at all. I really don't. So really, feel free to explain to me, help me out here, I don't know what you want from me. I don't know if you are still playing this back away game. Our conversations go nowhere, they mean nothing. I need you right now. I don't know what you're going through, how your life is right now, or anything, because you don't share this with me anymore, but I still thought you could be there for me. I was for you. Am I being too dramatic here? Just let me know if I am.

thoughts x

Come on come on, tell me we'll be okay

I think I've finally accepted that I'm not like a lot of people. I have different dreams, thoughts, feelings towards things. As I shared to dearest Nitty the other day, I don't dream of getting a job, having good grades, getting into college, having expensive things, and getting money. I dream of being happy with simple things and exploring and creating. I want to draw all over the walls and not worry if it looks trashy. I want to pour paint all over the kitchen floor and slide through it for a day and not think about how messy it's going to be or how big the clean up will be, or even maybe how much it will cost to repair possible damages. I don't think about those things.

And I get criticized for that so much.

But you know, I'm told by some that I'll change my mind in a year or so. Maybe I will, but maybe I won't. Either way, I'm okay with it for now. People may not like it, but it's what God has in store for me at the moment and I think I can finally come to terms with that.

Sorry.

I took this on Sunday evening, on Sanibel Island:


Right now, I would do anything to be back there.

<3

We're moving forward, we're doing fine.

I might as well do this now :)

Remember your choice of Sim?


Her name is Lilly Devreux and here is some information about her:
- She is a family Sim.
- Her lifetime goal is to become head of the SCIA.
- She is evenly sloppy/neat.
- She is outgoing.
- She is more active than lazy, but it's almost even.
- She has a more serious personality.
- She's a bit grouchy.
- Her horoscope is Aries.
- Her body type is average.
- Food, culture, and entertainment are among things she loves.
- She dislikes politics, health, and weather.
- Her hobby is music and dance.
- In the opposite sex, light eye makeup and custom colored hair turn her on while heaviness turns her off.
HERE ARE SOME PICTURES :D




Since I've been playing, she has gotten married to this man:


His name is Tripp Robin.
- Family Sim.
- Lifetime goal is to marry off 6 kids.
- Unemployed.
- Neat.
- Shy.
- Evenly lazy/active.
- Serious personality.
- More grouchy than nice.
- Virgo.
- Average body.
- Loves food, culture, and entertainment.
- Hates politics, crime, and work.
- Turned on by makeup and black hair and turned off by heaviness.

They got married <3




The live in a little 2bed, 2bath apartment in Belladonna Cove. Now I was originally going to take it slow so that updates wouldn't be hard, but I've been playing ALL DAY. So, I know it might seem like her life is going really fast, but it's just because I've been playing since I got back from Sanibel at noon.

So Lilly got pregnant :)





The baby boy's name is Aiden :D

So as of this exact moment, 12:19am, Lilly is a private eye and Tripp is a desk sergeant, Aiden is still a baby, and the three of them still live in the apartment. Lilly and Tripp are currently trying to get enough money to buy a home :)

So those are the Robins :D <3