Your written words are explosives

I'm so glad we're so "fixed" now. Everything is so "back to normal". Isn't it great ? I don't know why we lied to ourselves. Why I lied to myself. I screwed up by asking for it, I guess. Still. I don't think you can blame me for being mad at you for the last time we saw each other. Since, you know, we talk sooo much now.

I'm failing so bad. I'm never going to get out of school. I keep getting withdrawn from my classes because I'm not doing enough. I wish I could just PAUSE everything until I was ready. I'm not okay yet. My parents divorcing, me moving, not seeing my dad much anymore, it's ridiculously hard on me. School isn't the first thing on my mind.

It makes me feel sick sometimes that you aren't here. I'd do anything. I see people together and I want to cry. You've done so much for me and I can't even give you a hug to thank you for it all. I hope soon we'll get what we want. I love you.