Baby loves to dance in the dark

- Thank you for what you did on Sunday, it meant a lot to me.

- I wish I could push myself around that bend of being 'okay'. It's like I'm right on the edge and if I can just give it a littttle more effort, I'll be 'good'.

- The good thing is that it's almost June, and June means summer, and summer means <3

- I can't get rid of these headaches. They occur every single day, all throughout the day. All MRIs and CT scans were clear and my vision is fine, so... we're still trying to figure this one out. They get so bad though, that I just have to curl up in bed with absolutely no lights or sound and just try to sleep through them. In turn, I have no energy and am wasting almost the entire day. Great !

- I haven't thought about you in a long time, until last night. I wonder how you're doing. I think about the last time we saw each other. I can't help but feel angry at you... I don't think that's wrong though, because you weren't very... great the last time we were hanging out. I'm still sorry if I caused you problems though. I wish I could have believed you when you said we would be fixed now because...we obviously aren't. I don't think we've talked in two months. What did we do ?

- I spent all day yesterday cleaning the apartment for my mom, to surprise her. I know she's been stressed out and whenever my dad drops my brother off after school, he ends up lecturing her later about how the house isn't as clean as she promised it would be, or something like that. So I thought I'd take the liberty to clean it for her. After all, when my parents separated, I promised that I would help her here and I haven't been keeping that promise too well. I'll need to do more. It was hard work but definitely worth it to see the look on her face when she came home. I think I received about 20 hugs and 'thank yous' within an hour.

- I wish I had the energy to write and blog more, but the truth is being on the computer has been wearing me out and I don't have the desire to really talk to anyone... I miss you guys, though. I do.

I love you all <3

Day 5: Raspberry

Luscious, ripe Oregon raspberries add a deliciously tangy, fruity flavor to an already outstanding China Black tea blend. Rich and deep flavored brewed traditionally and outstanding as an iced tea.

Morning:: I woke up around 10-11. My bed was actually comfy last night since I got one of those tempurpedic mattress toppers. I woke up happier since I talked to Colin on the phone last night. Brandon was still asleep when I got up so I snuck out to the living room to play the PlayStation3 :D but I got stuck quick and had to wake him up to help me with a game :/ it's called Mirror's Edge. It's cool but makes me dizzy xD My Aunt and Grandpa are going to come over around 1 so we can say goodbye to my Aunt. She leaves for Michigan today :/

Afternoon: My Aunt was really sad to go. Complete opposite of me, she wishes she could stay in the heat. She doesn't want to go back home to Michigan where it's cold and snowing. What a weird person xD I would kill to be in the snow. I pretty much just played video games all day. My mom and Brandon went to Walmart and GameStop to try to exchange/get wii and PlayStation3 games. GameStop was RIDICULOUS. They had to be way over their limit of people xD it was gross and scary. We ended up getting Little Big Planet for ps3, a Pokemon game for Wii, some family game for Wii, Mario Kart for Wii, and 2 more controllers for the Wii. It was a decent afternoon.

Night: That family game we got for the Wii was great xD Watching my mother try to play the Wii is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. My brother and I keep arguing on whether or not we should play Little Big Planet or what. I'm talking to Colin on the phone though, so I don't really care about anything else. I think I'll sleep in the living room tonight. I love you <3

Day 4: Ginger Peach

The light flavor of this famous oriental spice enhances the smooth, rich taste of fresh southern peaches and combines with a blend of China Black teas to create a most appealing tea.

Morning: My Aunt and grandpa left so late that I didn't actually lie down until around 2am. Then I didn't fall asleep until around 4:30, I think. Either way, Brandon woke me up with a "GET UP FOR PRESENTS, AH-LEEEEE!" xD I think it was 9:30. It was a great morning though. My Aunt and Grandpa came over, we all had a ton of gifts that we loved. Breakfast was yummy too <3 every major holiday, Mom makes Cinnamon Rolls ! They are the absolute shiz. Oh and we got a ps3 and a wii. I knew about the ps3, but no one knew about the wii, my Dad decided to surprise Mom with it ;D

Afternoon: Christmas is pretty much good, I just really miss Colin. We ate dinner here as a family, and then we're going over to the neighbor's house for a mini Christmas party. I'm kinda bleh about it because it's always all boring and adult-ish. However, our new neighbors are supposed to be going and they have two kids, 16 and 6 year old boys. So maybe that can keep Brandon and I busy.

Night: Stupid neighbor's kids never showed up. So it really was a boring, adult party. I love my Aunt xD she's never met anyone over there before. So she walks in with her Tequila Rose, pours everyone shots, sits down at a table full of people, and starts chatting away, aha. I played the Wii a little bit since the neighbor's own one. It was funny watching all of the adults attempting to play :P My mom and I got really bored though after about an hour and walked home. I was really happy that Colin called me for the first time since he's beeng gone. Although he said he would call EVERY night. Oh well. I'm going to sleep in my room tonight. I love you.

Day 3: Earl Grey

The finest China Black teas are blended and infused with the oil of Bergamot, a pear-shaped citrus from the Mediterranean. Named after Earl Charles Grey, who was presented with the tea while he was a diplomat in China in the early 1800's.

Morning: I slept on the couch again last night. Being in my room just feels too weird. I only step foot in there to get dressed, then I'm gone. I don't think I fell asleep until around 4am, either. I woke up in a pretty good mood, though, so that's a plus.

Afternoon: I've done absolutely nothing except sit around and watch TV or get on the computer. There's nothing to do. On a second note, I really despise Florida. It's Christmas Eve and it's warm. I hate that. I HATE it. I'm really moody now, my happy mood deteriorated. I fell asleep in my parents' bed because it has one of those tempurpedic mattress tops. Taking long naps in the afternoon screw me up. So now I'm even more moody. I took a shower, though. Now, I guess my aunt and grandpa are coming over. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. I hate Christmas in Florida. It doesn't even feel like Christmas. I'm not excited. I'm not happy. I feel gross and blah. I hate PMS, too. I hate that Colin is in North Dakota and not here, with me. I hate North Dakota.

Night: I definitely felt better once my Aunt and grandpa got here. I forgot how fun my Aunt could be. She let me have shots of tequila rose :) And keeps showing me pictures of her new puppy and making fun of my dad, haha. We watched Jeff Dunham's Christmas Special again. It was about my family's 6th time seeing it xD but she had never seen it, so we watched it. It's still funny no matter how many times you've seen it. I'm kind of full from eating so much food xD All of those little food trays can really fill you up. Especially my Aunt's devilled eggs, YUM <33 I still wish Colin was here though, I miss him a lot. I can't believe tomorrow's Christmas. I wanted to get my permit over break but Dad said I can't get it until I finish virtual school :( So I guess I'll try to work hard on that tomorrow. I realllllly want to get my permit before school starts up again. My birthday is in October, I don't want to turn 16 and have to wait too long. Two months won't kill me but I don't want to go any longer than that. I'm going to sleep in the living room again tonight. My room feels empty and weird without you. I love you.