Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

I'm tired of people and the way they act. I'm tired of feeling disgusted by human beings everywhere I look. I want conversations with people who care, who view the world through the same pair of eyes that I do. I want to hear from someone who wants to change things, who won't settle for the flow of what people have set up to be their lives. There's only a handful of people who aren't getting on my nerves right now.

I'm tired of feeling so helpless. I feel like I'm a little girl again, waiting for mommy to hold my hand so I can cross the street. I feel ashamed that I have to take a sleeping pill before I go out, to keep my anxiety down, and that I now take Valium. I hate that I have to beg people not to take me certain places or not to leave me because I am terrified. I'm tired of trying to explain to people that I don't know why I'm scared, I just am. I'm sick of walking by people and holding my breath. I'm tired of crying because there is no one around and I'm paralyzed with fear. I'm tired of having friends laugh at me because they don't understand why I'm too scared to go places with them or be without an adult.

I'm REALLY tired.

http://kaelove.tumblr.com/ <---- please go here for my tumblr <3 ?