Sunday, December 14, 2008

Hello, Dear

Friday's concert at HOB was pretty dang good :) We the Kings and The Academy Is... were all right, seeing as I don't like them too much. Fall Out Boy, however, was amazing. For my first concert ever, I was really satisfied :D Except until Colin and Julian decided to join a mosh pit xD

Afterward, we went to the Virgin store and Nitty bought a Fight Club poster :p I wanted to get something Hello Kitty but I was too tired xD I definitely fell asleep on the ride home, leaning on Colin. Pretty sure Hooly fell asleep leaning on me too, haha.

Saturday was a lame day, I slept most of it and ended up making my mom mad :/ but church made up for it. I really admire the pastor there. He has a brain tumor and as he's up there talking to us, he tells us he has double vision and how "currently there are about 3,000 of you out there." yet he still smiles and put all of his heart into his work. God definitely has him.

I'm really moody right now, more so than usual. Isn't PMS great? Ugh. My back hurts from putting up the Christmas tree and for some reason I feel like I ate way too much food today. Weird. I want to hurry on to Curves.

I'm both excited and sad about this being the last week of school before Christmas Break. I'm excited because, duh, no school and Christmas. I'm sad though because Colin will be gone the entire break, in North Dakota, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate, HATE being without him D: I can barely stand it when he goes home at night. Going from Sunday to Wednesday seems torturous enough.

I've been thinking about my future a lot lately and praying about it a lot. So here's to You, God. I need Your guidance. I want to understand these feelings and desires. Why have they not gone away and why is this something I want so bad? Why would I be willing to give up everything I had for it? It doesn't make any sense but it's consuming me and distracting me and causing problems for me. I'd really love Your help, please.

I hate homework. I hate school. I hate warm weather in winter. I hate food. I hate my messy room. I hate my remote. I hate my computer. I hate my procrastination. I hate the smell of my brother's room. I hate infections. I hate fat. I hate my hair. I hate PMS. I hate headaches. I hate frustration. I hate not understanding. I hate hating.

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