Sunday, November 30, 2008

I want an XBOX 360

I had a dream that I had to stand up for you.
I hope I did a good job.
Today, I want to talk to you.
So I think I will.

<3

Saturday, November 22, 2008

You can Google it

I saw Twilight tonight at 7:30, Regal 16 Theater, and I can say that I was thoroughly disappointed. Now, I understand that a movie is never as good as the book, but in my honest opinion, this movie didn't even come close. If I was Stephenie Meyer, I'd want to cry.

She makes all her work very in-depth and colorful and I found the film choppy, empty, and pale. The characters seemed like they were just THERE and very blank to me, the emotion they were meant to be portraying just wasn't there.

One thing I hated about this movie was that it was humorous. I didn't find the book funny? I was expecting a serious, heartfelt, and passionate film, not a laugh fest.

In the book, Edward is described as being this perfect, way-beyond-Earth kind of character and in the movie he was skittish, obviously nervous, and not the strong person I imagined.

I think Kristen Stewart was too hard and freaking BLAND to be Bella. Her voice was too deep and she was just awkward in a weird, tired kind of way, not a cute, loving way like the book describes.

I also found that I didn't like the way the movie was put into order. I wish they would have followed the book better. I thought all the 'animal killings' were from New Moon, I don't remember any from Twilight. Though I may be wrong in that... I felt the ending went too fast from the point of the baseball game. One second she's in the hotel, the next she's getting thrown around. I think they should have emphasized the stress of waiting for any idea of what was happening while Bella, Jasper, and Alice were in the hotel.

I don't think they properly showed the intensity of Edward and Bella's relationship. It was more like he was a stalker and she was just too annoying to let go of him, which is not how the book is, at ALL.

Oh and Edward's sparkling? wtf.

Positives: I did like Jasper's character a lot, Alice was portrayed wonderfully, the weather was good, Emmett, the makeup of the Cullens, Renee, and a few others things.

Other notes!:

Colin's coming over tomorrow <3

I'm excited for Monday :D

Thanksgiving Break should give me a chance to relax (:

This cold weather makes me want to dance around and smile all the time :P


Oh and I pretty much agree with this:
"The movie we have been anticipating all year has finally come out! Sadly... it felt rushed and left the viewer sort of unfulfilled. The actors were... Dull, boring, and monotonous. Stewert, while being in some good movies, just does not get the emotions out. Robert did an excellent job of Edward, but the movie, like the book, focused WAY too much on him. Most of the movie focuses on the two main characters, while this is expected, the others are sort of "not as involved". Some of the characters were very dull and you learn so little about anything. Had I not read the book first, I would have been VERY confused with this movie. In some areas, the characters have awkward moments(in fact too many) that left me seeing this movie as a corny and bad impression of some of Twilight's more dramatic moments. All in all, this movie was one of the biggest letdowns, that will only draw in profit from the inflated hype blimp created by the fans. If your a die hard fan, you will be disappointed, otherwise I recommend reading the book, before seeing the movie, otherwise you just won't get half of what is going on."
- IMDB review


Goodnight and God bless <3

Friday, November 21, 2008

Pretty Much Exhausted

Whoa. Today didn't turn out how I'd planned but that's okay. Hooly, Carolina, Colin, and I went to Subway after school and then sat in the parking lot, trying to find directions to the Regal 16 Theatre in Ocala or see if they were sold out. We ended up sitting there for about three hours before learning all shows were sold out except the 11pm one.

SO. Then we went to Hooly and Carolina's house and watched El Orfanato again. Dude, i love watching psychological horrors. It was so much more intense.

Then Colin took great delight in scaring the crap out of me every chance he got on the ride home. That! was a blast.

Then we took naps and stuff and he just left ten minutes ago.

I love you <3

I'm really glad it's Thanksgiving Break [finally]! Tomorrow, I have a hair appointment at three - I think I'm going to add black - and then Colin and I are going to see Twilight. I'm excited. I love him <3

By the way, I'm glad we're talking more.
Oh and you, too. Thanks for letting me know you care, even if it was brief.

Goodnight, loves, and God bless <3

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hello; Good Evening,

I love You <3

My faith in God is growing stronger and stronger everyday. I read the bible every chance I get and absorb in all of the words. I'm reading books and doing research and I find my love for Him is unbreakable. I know He's listening to me and is always here for me when I need Him. He is my Savior and my light and I will continue to follow in His name :D

On another note:


I'm so excited :D TEAM EDWARD <3333

I get angry thinking of Jacob xD ugh. NO ME GUSTA JACOB, NO. ME. GUSTA. You know, I actually used to like Jacob until the end of New Moon. From then on, ESPECIALLY IN ECLIPSE, I hated him. Reading Breaking Dawn with him was unbearable. Lost my liking for him altogether.

<3

Let's talk okay?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It was possibly

the worst day in awhile. I felt humiliated being at school with my super red eyes and worn out look. I couldn't even keep a straight face 2 minutes into being there, broke down to Kristina, which is something I haven't done in a long time. I don't know if I've ever cried at school? And if I have I was able to control it or something cause this scared me, letting people see me like that. I only wish I had gotten there earlier so I had more time to clean myself up before going to class, cause then of course I got a lot of questioning looks.

I'm incredibly exhausted, wasted a whole night last night just crying on and off. My eyes burn and my throat is sore. I've never cried a whole night in and out of sleep, and then woke up the next day and began crying again. Usually if you have a bad night, the following morning is a new day. Definitely wasn't my case. I'm sitting there trying to get my stuff together and have tears rolling down my face when my mom says, "You need to try harder. You can't fall apart at school..." and I toned her out for the rest.

I know what she was going to say. If they see you, they'll ask to talk to us, and it might lead you back into therapy and maybe you do need back on your medication after all.

School felt pointless to me today. I felt like I needed to leave and actually do something important instead of just sitting there class after class, just to tell them I didn't have the homework they were looking for. Maybe I need to go back to therapy. Maybe I need the medications again. I don't want the meds, honestly. I finally feel REAL again. My emotions are sensitive right now but I love it because when I was on the medication, I felt like a brick wall; I didn't really feel sadness. I felt happiness and anger and most other things, but sadness was rejected. I feel more complete now that I can freely feel that emotion. Watching TV with my mom last night, I cried because it was a sad episode. Months ago, on medication, I wouldn't have been able to cry no matter how hard I tried.

I could probably deal with therapy though. Maybe. As long as she wouldn't sit there and nod at me and just stare at me all the time like she used to do. On second thought, maybe that would be too much. I have this huge TO-DO list that needs a lot of crossing off. Mainly doctors appointments that I need to make... I want to be on my own right now. I want to be out of school and on toward more important things. I honestly can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing the right thing, I'm supposed to be doing SOMETHING, but I don't know what it is.

I'm driving myself crazy praying over it.

I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.

Why did you leave me here?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Best Weekend Ever :)

On Friday, Sheri, Colin, Nitty, Hooly, Carolina, and I went to Fresh Market and annoyed the customers whilst talking to Hosef. We bought garlic and herb bread and left for SUBWAY FRIDAY! We havent gathered there in about 3 weeks so our people were like "AHHHHH YOU'RE BACK!!!" It was great (: We def entertained the customers there, lawl lawl. Then Nitty and Holly were like "We were grounded!" and the manager said she'd write us a note xD so she put:

To the parents of Ally, Sheri, Austin, Julian, and Colin.

This is the manager of Subway and I would like to ask if any groundings occur in your children, please don't make them groundings from Subway! I very much enjoy these teenagers and seeing them every Friday is important to me. Any questions, call this number.

Mandi.

It was something along those lines but it was awesome and we were like HAI THANKS! After Subway, we called our parents and stuff and went to HOOLY and CAROLINA'S house to stay the night :D

Amazing. Things we did:
Ball Smacking
Wii Sports
Cookie Dough Eating
Too Much Laughing
Cockroach Hunting
Blockbuster at like 9 or 10
El Orfanato
A good bit of SCREAMING
Running from Hooly's farts
Scrabble
Walking
Sitting backwards in the car
Playing with Piralou
You Would
Huddling Together - basically cause of TOMAS
Looking at old yearbooks
Sheri, Nitty, and Hooly slept in Hooly's bed
Colin and I slept in the guest room

SATURDAY!
Baked the remaining dough
Ate the cookies
Made miis
Played wii
Lazed around
Nitty and Sheri left
Colin showered
Don't Mess with the Zohan - stupid
Colin and I left to get changed
Met Hooly and Carolina and their madre at Denny's
Went to Florida Mall
SEPHORA
Crepe Market, omyum
Met some of their family
Went back home


:D And I have to say that I love Colin Shaw very, very much <3333

I left my charger in his car, my extra battery in Hooly's madre's car, and my school stuff in Carolina's trunk.

xD

whoops.

Anywhore, best weekend ever, I love them all, definitely my best friends.

<3 COMMMMMMMENT

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

HEY

I really don't like art II at the moment; the project is kind of making me mad, especially since someone stole my board >:/ Oh well. Other than that, I've been getting happier lately and have been able to ignore stupid people. I'm getting more motivated to do stuff in school and treat myself better. So I'm happier and little things aren't getting to me as easily because I'm stronger.

I know I've changed a lot since the last school year but I changed in very mature ways. I do not regret a single choice that I've made nor am I ashamed of anything. I feel older and stronger than most people around me and I know I am. I've been through something the majority of people I know won't ever go through and that puts me in a rough place but I learned to acknowledge the fact that it happened. I haven't accepted it yet, though, and I don't expect to for quite awhile.

Because of my maturity level know, it makes me laugh seeing the arguments people get in. It's really sad how some people are living their lives :/

All I can say is I know I have the right people in my life who care about me and won't abandon me. It's not a big group of people, you know? Just a tiny few, but that is perfectly enough to keep me alive everyday. I know they'll ALWAYS be there for me and will come to me for help, just as I will for them. We'll stick together through anything and I'll be honest with them as they will with me. Kids say this all the time but with how much more intelligent and experienced I am, I know this is for real. These guys won't leave me for anyone. They have my back and I'll have theirs. I'll make sure I don't lose any of them to bad choices of subject. Or people.


Goodnight :)
<3c.s. s.h. j.d. n.a. a.w.<3