Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I abuse

things way too much. I'm sick, really sick, and I hate it. I don't like not being able to talk without searing pain in my throat. I don't like seeing through foggy eyes and burning up with fever. I don't know if I'm so hungry that my stomach hurts, or if I will puke. So, being home all day was annoying enough feeling like that, let alone my brother was sick too so he was just playing on xbox live, holy crap does that get old.

Being home all day is great because of no school or drama or need to be social. The negative part is having way too much time on your own to think, think...think. That's all you can do. Sure, you can watch TV or read, but at one point or another, your mind is bound to wander into shady areas that you don't wish to think about. I could feel so many feelings resurface and...

I'm sorry. You know who you are, and I need to apologize. Half of me doesn't want to, but the other knows I have to. I love you and I'm sorry.

I made bad choices today and unfortunately it's probably written all over me if I can't hide the guilt.

I need to write, to vent, to get out everything I'm bottling up oh so tightly inside... goodnight <3

Oh and you have made me so miserable.


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