Monday, February 23, 2009

You're not trying, (I swear I'm trying)

I was on auto-pilot the entire day, I swear. Except for Art Club, I lost the whole morning and afternoon. I felt like a robot, it was horrible. I was falling asleep standing up, while walking. It sucked. I need to get more sleep, I guess.

Everyone else seemed to have shitty days today :( it's lame, I feel like Monday just really sucked. It was like BLAH to the max.

Hooly sent me a link to an UnderOATH acoustic cover and it's giving me chills <3

I feel like some people in my life are all wrong. Aside from a select few, I can't tell who I want to be closer to, who I need to give up on, and who I want to just stay neutral with.

You're uninviting, unrewarding.

I want a fire right now, like a big fireplace right next to my bed. With a giant, comfy rug, candles, pencils, and paper. I would love to just sit in front of a fire and write for hours.

There are so many things that I want to say but they keep slipping from my mind. I feel like my mind is all scrambled today.

I wish people were more loving. I wish we all hugged more, smiled at each other more, gave each other a nice text once a day. I feel like affection is missing, as if it has almost completely disappeared from the air that we're breathing. I don't like it. It makes me feel cold, and a bit lonely.

I feel like I'm slipping also. I'm not right in the head right now. I'm thinking things I shouldn't be thinking. Wanting things I shouldn't be wanting. Dreaming of things I shouldn't be dreaming. I'm just all wrong. Completely wrong.

Thought of the Day:
I think it's okay to cry now.


Manaray said...

sounds like you need a serious hug.

allywood said...

Ah, yeah, probably (:

Kaylee. said...

*hugs* :)<3

NittyWood said...

i love you.
Monday does suck.
And dont give up on me ;)

allywood said...

Thanks, Kaylee (:
And I won't, Nitty.

Hooly said...

Who decides what we should be thinking? Think whatever the hell you want, Ally.

allywood said...

<3 Hooly <3

love, Grace. said...

yeah, when i first read this it felt like you were responding to me. :P